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paradisalost2010-10-24 12:42 pm
devilmarked.livejournal.com) wrote in paradisalost2010-10-24 12:42 pm
Entry tags:
:013
[ shuffle, shuffle, thud....
silence... then the sound of someone muttering--no hissing profanities, doesn't that sound vaguely familiar? anyway there is some more shuffling and another thud, the lovely sound of a fist hitting concert before a nice crack and some more colorful profanities. if you listen hard enough you can hear something about "that tentacle bitch" and something about "damn ice bastard" along with a few complaints here and there.
but then it suddenly stops and there is some more shuffling until finally you can hear him clearly hissing something like "fucking finally" yeah he lost his journal at some point during his comfortable stay in this shit hole. ]
Hey, hey, dickbags, I want out. Hurry the fuck up will you-- [ pause, flick flick flick... ]
What the hell? I almost get my head chopped off, dragged to some armpit of fucking Paradisa and no one bothers to check if I'm still alive? Yeah yeah, fuck you too, go die in a fire... full of zombies.
Piranha zombies.
( ooc; apologies in advance, tags may be slow. going to go visit my grandmother today. i will get to them eventually i swear )
silence... then the sound of someone muttering--no hissing profanities, doesn't that sound vaguely familiar? anyway there is some more shuffling and another thud, the lovely sound of a fist hitting concert before a nice crack and some more colorful profanities. if you listen hard enough you can hear something about "that tentacle bitch" and something about "damn ice bastard" along with a few complaints here and there.
but then it suddenly stops and there is some more shuffling until finally you can hear him clearly hissing something like "fucking finally" yeah he lost his journal at some point during his comfortable stay in this shit hole. ]
Hey, hey, dickbags, I want out. Hurry the fuck up will you-- [ pause, flick flick flick... ]
What the hell? I almost get my head chopped off, dragged to some armpit of fucking Paradisa and no one bothers to check if I'm still alive? Yeah yeah, fuck you too, go die in a fire... full of zombies.
Piranha zombies.
( ooc; apologies in advance, tags may be slow. going to go visit my grandmother today. i will get to them eventually i swear )
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All right, that's it, you've got to be fucking with me. I knew this blood-splattered basement crap sounded too good to be true. The Brady Bunch could get by in this castle and not miss a beat, the place is so boring.
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And I haven't even gotten to the best part yet! She isn't just any tentacle monster, this one likes eating people guts. Give that a moment, let it sink in.
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This chick didn't happen to have a name that started with a L did it?
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poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
random chick
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
random chick
First things first, the name is Dante.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Into tiny little pieces, Alighieri. I'm Ruby.
You know, I can count on one hand the people that oughtta know who Lilith is in this whoooole damn castle. The fact that you do makes you a very special case.
Demon?
Ruby
Half. Don't ask, it's a long boring story about some demon who though humanity was great and married a human woman, and I'm sure as hell not in the mood for story telling. That shit requires booze, lots of it.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, I mean, really, offering to pick the pieces back up? Adorable. But, I'm pretty sure I can wish for some off of the castle that you've all-too-aptly named.
You can relax, I'm not really interested in prying into the dirty details of your dad's jaunt into the valley of true love. [Except she ... seriously fucking is. But she'll be delicate about her prying, ok.] But, see, the funny thing is, where I come from, going halfsies with humanity gets you slapped with a nice, fat Antichrist label slapped on your forehead.
Ruby
Hey it's my good deed for the month, if I keep up the quota when the end of the month rolls around I get a surprise.
Glad we're on the same page. Funny story, I broke into a church when I was a kid, don't ask me why, anyway there was this priest right? And as I was sneaking around I started to burn, yeah burn, took a while you start but once it did there was hissing and smoke. Anyway after accidentally running into a bowl of holy water, the old bastard came out and started screaming shit about me being the Antichrist or something. I had to run the fuck out of there and find a river to dunk myself in. It took me almost twenty minutes to find a river far away from that dumbass church. Protip; Running while covered in holy water? Not fun.
Seriously though, I don't know many half demons myself, but if humanity actually cared outside one cranky old priest who was half awake? They probably stick that label on my forehead too. It actually makes me one of the most hated guys in the demon circle, the fact I go around shooting every demon I come across in the head probably doesn't help either.
Ah, the joys of being famous.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Better be one helluva surprise. [She listens patiently to his story, laughing in all the right parts -- particularly the parts about him burning on hallowed ground and being drenched in holy water.]
Well, sounds like with the number of crappy, self-deprecating demons we've got running around, we should start a book club. Or maybe a hunting party.
Gotta say, though, never expected a half-demon to get stuck on the ass-end of the hallowed ground deal. I mean, Hell, even I can walk on it without getting my hair singed. On the other hand, I definitely don't envy you the holy water bath.
Ruby
Those pricks? They aren't even game. Besides it gets insanely boring killing the same dick every two weeks.
Churches don't like me, or that one just had been warded. Probably both. Never. Again.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Not exactly what I was getting at, champ. You're not the only demon -- well, part demon, in your case -- around this joint who gets his jollies off killing his own.
If that doesn't make us kindred spirits enough for you to tell me how you know the name Lilith, I don't know what is.
Ruby
And here I thought I was a special snowflake.
Well some demons can be so very talkative when you're got a gun full of blessed lead pointed at their head. Can't get very far in the business of demon hunting without knowing the who's who of demonic hierarchy. As much fun as going in blind can be, sometimes it counts to do some sort of research.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
So, the bitch is in your reality, too. Well, lucky you. [A beat.] So, blessed ammunition, huh? Smart man. Gotta be like nitroglycerin when you're handling the rounds yourself, though.
Ruby -- what filter fail, there was no filter fail!!
Queen bitch. My favorite kind. Worse, it's like pouring that shit into an open wound, I know I've shot myself a few times.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster -- I SAW NO FILTER FAIL
So, what were you doing in tentacle monster town anyway? Kinda sounds like the type of place that's got a big ol' keep out sign plastered all over it.
Ruby -- SCORE!
Stupid shit, that's what. The sorta shit that starts with doors slamming and ends in being nearly decapitated.
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Ruby
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Understandable. I wouldn't want to strip you of the last of it. Not yet, anyway.
Ruby
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Ruby
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Ruby
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Ruby
poor bastard who spent the week with a tentacle monster
Ruby