http://nyochhavar.livejournal.com/ (
nyochhavar.livejournal.com) wrote in
paradisalost2011-12-29 03:12 pm
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
Recollection
Who: Abel Nightroad and Lilith Sahl
What: Regaining their Paradisa memories
Where: Floor Six
Warnings: I don't think any will apply, possible eye bleed from tl;dr? EDIT: Now there are warnings for marital nudey times.
In truth, Lilith had been in two minds about the 'travellers' that had come to Paris over Christmas. On the one hand, she had been exceptionally grateful to see Nanako again, the small girl who she knew in her heart that they had loved as much as if she had been one of their own children. However, on the other hand, she had been disquieted by the knowledge that she had forgotten someone so important to her... several someones, and that they were apparently embroiled in some world of magic and uncertainty.
It had raised all sorts of questions about her reality... her world. Was she who she believed she was? Were the feelings she had for Abel real? Was she a doctor? Was she insane and imagining all of this? She didn't want to believe that her life was a lie, it tore at her heart to even consider it. Yet to forget people and events which had been equally important was just as distressing, and she honestly didn't know which way to turn for the best.
It was harder on Abel than it had been on her, she knows her precious silly boy bottles these things up and tortures himself with them. Especially after Christmas, he had become different somehow... he could never hide from her, not properly, but she hadn't pursued what was bothering him, as she trusted him to come to her when he was ready. Patience. Though even her limitless patience was being tested to the limits here, with this confusion and mystery.
Always at the back of her mind, growing stronger for the past few days, was a niggle, a sensation that if she could just concentrate then she would understand. Memories just out of reach, hiding from her and evaporating like water under a hot lamp. It was frustrating, almost frightening, and yet it was a comfort to know she was not going through it alone. Nor was it just Abel, there seemed to be a few of their friends and neighbours who were experiencing this tug from deep inside.
Troubled beneath the serene exterior, she had not slept easily that night, as though she could hear an internal ticking countdown to... something. And that something was clear when she woke. Opening her eyes before Abel, as was usual, she found herself looking at a stone ceiling in a room that was decorated unfamiliarly... or at least, it was only unfamiliar for a moment. But then the colours and patterns took shape in her memory, this was the style of the Vatican from Abel's ti...me...
Vatican.
War.
Crusnik.
It all came tumbling back in a dizzying whirl of memories, a confused jumble that made her physically double over as though she had been punched in the gut. A life in captivity, an angry-eyed boy with a bruised heart, a smiling youth with a horrible future, a small green-eyed and bitter girl. A war, Armageddon... the pain of facing her family over a battlefield, and the peace of knowing Abel's eyes would open with her final sacrifice. She had... she... And then here, this place, a second chance. She had seen her precious Abel's pain of centuries and tried to ease it, and they had married here as well.
There are tears on her cheeks, mingled grief and happiness, as she let her life wash back over her and settle where it belonged. Reaching out a slightly trembling hand, she laid it gently on Abel's shoulder where he was still sleeping beside her and shook him. Would he remember when he woke too? Her heart ached for the pain and guilt that would no doubt take residence in his heart again, for the horrific grief and loss he would feel with recollection, and yet there were good things there too... and she would be beside him the whole time.
What: Regaining their Paradisa memories
Where: Floor Six
Warnings: I don't think any will apply, possible eye bleed from tl;dr? EDIT: Now there are warnings for marital nudey times.
In truth, Lilith had been in two minds about the 'travellers' that had come to Paris over Christmas. On the one hand, she had been exceptionally grateful to see Nanako again, the small girl who she knew in her heart that they had loved as much as if she had been one of their own children. However, on the other hand, she had been disquieted by the knowledge that she had forgotten someone so important to her... several someones, and that they were apparently embroiled in some world of magic and uncertainty.
It had raised all sorts of questions about her reality... her world. Was she who she believed she was? Were the feelings she had for Abel real? Was she a doctor? Was she insane and imagining all of this? She didn't want to believe that her life was a lie, it tore at her heart to even consider it. Yet to forget people and events which had been equally important was just as distressing, and she honestly didn't know which way to turn for the best.
It was harder on Abel than it had been on her, she knows her precious silly boy bottles these things up and tortures himself with them. Especially after Christmas, he had become different somehow... he could never hide from her, not properly, but she hadn't pursued what was bothering him, as she trusted him to come to her when he was ready. Patience. Though even her limitless patience was being tested to the limits here, with this confusion and mystery.
Always at the back of her mind, growing stronger for the past few days, was a niggle, a sensation that if she could just concentrate then she would understand. Memories just out of reach, hiding from her and evaporating like water under a hot lamp. It was frustrating, almost frightening, and yet it was a comfort to know she was not going through it alone. Nor was it just Abel, there seemed to be a few of their friends and neighbours who were experiencing this tug from deep inside.
Troubled beneath the serene exterior, she had not slept easily that night, as though she could hear an internal ticking countdown to... something. And that something was clear when she woke. Opening her eyes before Abel, as was usual, she found herself looking at a stone ceiling in a room that was decorated unfamiliarly... or at least, it was only unfamiliar for a moment. But then the colours and patterns took shape in her memory, this was the style of the Vatican from Abel's ti...me...
Vatican.
War.
Crusnik.
It all came tumbling back in a dizzying whirl of memories, a confused jumble that made her physically double over as though she had been punched in the gut. A life in captivity, an angry-eyed boy with a bruised heart, a smiling youth with a horrible future, a small green-eyed and bitter girl. A war, Armageddon... the pain of facing her family over a battlefield, and the peace of knowing Abel's eyes would open with her final sacrifice. She had... she... And then here, this place, a second chance. She had seen her precious Abel's pain of centuries and tried to ease it, and they had married here as well.
There are tears on her cheeks, mingled grief and happiness, as she let her life wash back over her and settle where it belonged. Reaching out a slightly trembling hand, she laid it gently on Abel's shoulder where he was still sleeping beside her and shook him. Would he remember when he woke too? Her heart ached for the pain and guilt that would no doubt take residence in his heart again, for the horrific grief and loss he would feel with recollection, and yet there were good things there too... and she would be beside him the whole time.
no subject
She knows that this is not the grief-stricken words of a man who has known her as dead for centuries, they have been through that and come out the other side. Which means that... she must have left before him, she must have disappeared from the castle and its consciousness some time before he joined her in Paris.
A pang of true regret makes her heart thump harder, golden eyes lowering. She had never intended to let him walk alone ever again, nor let him carry those heavy burdens without her there to let him rest from time to time. But Paradisa was indiscriminate and cruel sometimes, and it seemed her prayers in that area had not been answered.
Raising a hand to cup his cheek, gentle as ever, she pressed another kiss to his lips before answering.
"You don't need to miss me, I am always with you, even if I cannot be by your side."
no subject
Abel gently rests his forehead against hers, relishing the feel of her palm on his skin in an age-old gesture that never ceased to ease some of the tension from his shoulders, from inside his chest. A reminder she's here, and real... solid and his. He has to keep it that way. He needs her by his side... however much there is no doubt in his mind that she is with him, even when she is not.
"I missed you," he repeats; she knows his meaning... he's sure of it, nuzzling her slowly before his arms folded her more gently, close. "...I don't make the bed half as nice as you do. It's... really good, that you came back with me this time..."
Getting his wits back, slowly but surely... trying to find someplace normal...
no subject
"...I would hate to think of your bed as messy, Abel, truly it is a godsend I am here."
Smiling against pale skin, she allowed him to draw her closer and leaned her bodyweight against his to nudge him back down to the pillows once more. The time would come soon when they had to leave their room and face the friends they had left behind - see their grief at having lost them, perhaps feel their own for friends no longer here, and deal with explanations and reunions.
But for now, that could wait. They could take their time here, healing one another, until they were strong enough to face the world.
no subject
He gives no resistance when she tugs him back down and onto the bed -- not even bothering with the grace to do little more than flop and tug her tightly into his chest. Lilith... the memories of old and these strange ones of a new lifetime are disjointed and odd; part of him recalls how little a chance he'd gotten to do this before she had disappeared, and the other half has had years with which to indulge to his heart's content.
Either way... he has her, now.
His fingers softly ghost at her shoulder, an idle affectionate gesture as he watches the ceiling. "...Nanako... will be happy, won't she...?"
He will find all the good in thing and steel it in his chest. He won't think of all the things that could be frightening or wrong, now... the faces that could've appeared or disappeared in the unknown space of time they'd been away. Those are worries for later.
no subject
"She will be delighted, I have no doubt about that."
Nanako was a strong girl, not one to hold bitterness in her heart for being left, but only love for being reunited.
no subject
How long has it been...?
How long...
How much has changed...?
"How are we back here, Lilith?" Their memories were supposed to be forfeit, weren't they...? He had never seen someone return with their recollections of staying in Paradisa previously intact... not once in the two years he could remember of his time spent as a resident of the castle.
no subject
She was curious herself, she could not deny that, but she was content to merely accept her good fortune and that of Abel lest questioning have it taken from them. The whims of the castle, so she remembered, were hard to predict and there would be no telling quite why they had been chosen to return with their memories in tact.
"Be grateful for the chance awarded to us this way, and the relationships we do not have to begin anew."
no subject
He's learned, this week, the damage that too much curiosity can do. And that in his heart, he shifts to draw her a little closer still, pressing a kiss firmly into red hair atop her head with the utmost affection behind the gesture.
"Then... welcome home again."
no subject
"I never left home, silly boy."
Chuckling, she pressed another kiss there and another, feeling peace settle over her heart slowly.
"As long as I am beside you, no matter our surroundings, I am home."
no subject
"It was nice... to live like them, Lilith." A human... no Crusnik; no clones; no Mars, or colony, no war. Just... the city; their world narrowed down to much humbler beginnings and endings than any they'd had before.
"But this feels much more like 'home.'" And that is true... however bittersweet. This is solid in a way he hadn't realized his pleasant Parisian daydreams were not...
no subject
"It will be home when we have a child with us again."
After knowing the joy of motherhood, it would be awful to have their home empty of small smiles and children to love and care for. Luckily, they had Nanako to care for, and she was sure that the little girl would be happy to live with them again.
no subject
He wonders about this, more than anything. Were they real...? Were they 'real,' like Lilith and Abel? Etoile...
--ah. He sits up, slightly, trying to draw her attention and have her look into his face. "...Etoile. She was-- the daughter Esther and I always had on Mother's Day... do you remember?"
Then maybe Charlie and Nanako, too...? Those mysterious children tied to the castle in some way... ones who reappeared each year like clockwork with smiling and happy faces. They would be taken care of, wouldn't they? If they weren't here, then...
...They would see them again... Wouldn't they?
no subject
"I remember... then perhaps we shall see them again when that time rolls around this year."
no subject
"...I hope that we do," he says softly. The love for them is very real... and it will not be dying, regardless what the truth of their existences might be. They were a family...
And that was that.
no subject
Once more she was able to fully appreciate the wonder of hearing him say such soft things full of love, and thank God that he had become the man she knew he was inside all along. It was a blessing above all others that she had received, something she could put no price on, and it warmed her through.
There was a time and a place for looking back, for reminiscing, but she knew that their children would be well cared for by Cain if they were no longer there. Now was a time for the present, for holding onto it with both hands, and there was only one thing she wanted to say, looking down on him with warm golden eyes.
"I love you."
no subject
...Lilith.
His own expression softens in response, and despite it all... maybe there's a slight infusion of something pinker in his cheeks at thsoe words. No matter how much time passed... years, decades... centuries, he would never not be touched in the deepest parts of him to hear them.
He smooths his palm over her cheekbone and splays fingers into her hair. Soft as ever... velvet and perfect. Everything about her always was, and is still.
"...I love you too, Lilith."
no subject
She rests her hand on his chest, tilting her eyes down to look at the wedding band that still adorned her left hand; as ever, feeling a thrill at the sight of it. The smile at her lips turned a little teasing, chuckling quietly.
"...though perhaps I will still await Mr. Klein with bated breath."
no subject
He's so grateful the slate had not been washed clean. He had learned so much... so, so much he might never learn again, otherwise. He had grown with her, and...
"...luckily, I think we left him behind in Paris. You poor thing..."
no subject
"I believe we have a substitute here, though..." She mused, eyes dancing with amusement. "I seem to recall an offer of modelling from a certain Mr. Nightroad."
no subject
Out of all the muddled mess of their heads... did that have to be something that she'd recalled with clarity? Why yes, that is a familiar shade of red beginning to seep into his face... thank you for asking.
"--I have no idea what you're talking about," he bluffs, pretending to feign firm ignorance. FIRM IGNORANCE.
no subject
She cannot believe that he is still flushing, even after spending years of marriage sharing the same bed and having three children together. It is adorable and endearing, and she cannot help but laugh and tease him further.
no subject
And far more prone to wonder how, exactly, he'd managed this catch himself.
"Really?" He watches the ceiling thoughtfully as if trying to wrack his brain about the subject. It was... comforting, this; something normal and silly and... simple. Something that was just theirs. "...No, no. I'm sorry, Lilith, that isn't ringing any bells at all..."
no subject
She laughed, brushing her knuckles over the back of his pink cheek affectionately. She loved him wholly and completely, whatever anyone else may think of him 'catching' her, and that would never change.
"Perhaps I should go and find someone willing to do so then, I had been looking forward to it."
no subject
He gives a look of mock hurt, holding his chest dramatically before flopping bonelessly on the bed as if he'd been slain by her UTTER CRUELTY.
no subject
She pretended to consider for a moment, tapping one long finger against her lips before sliding off the bed and pretending to head for the door.
"I shall have to find a considerably more attractive man."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i had to reupload this icon because of you.......
skdjv lol
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
What... even is this conversation?
...idek................. /squints into the sun
i blame you
well isn't that uncanny! because I BLAME YOU!
HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!
everything always is. p_o
i can't think of a rebuke for that, dammit
heh heh heh :3
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/... something idek
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
done
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2 SCREAM LILITH
2/2
sdkvjnfdh
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)